Junaid Bhai, I do not know why all of a sudden you have gotten jinxed with controversial statements, and that too, regarding women. You have come to religion from where you came from, hence we expected something different from you. We expected you to understand and promote religion with an intelligent approach, not the hand-me-down religion approach. When you make a religious statement and then compliment it with the statement ‘Hamarae baron nae hamae isi tarhan sikhaya hae…’ it pretty much takes the air out of the balloon. If Junaid Jamshed has to convey religion to us with the parrot approach, why are we listening to Junaid Jamshed? Why not just play the pre-recording?
Junaid Bhai, I simply do not agree with you that Allah Almighty omitted the mention of woman’s name in the Holy Quran. What is Surah Maryam about? Allah Almighty could have named it Surah Umme Isa. But that did not happen. It is directly and boldly, Surah Maryam. Pronouncing a woman’s name is not dishonor to her. During the Prophetic times, how were the Prophet’s wives and daughters and other Muslim women pronounced? Directly by their names! Anyone who reads the treasury of Hadith can see that it continuously narrates, ‘Narrated Ayesha RA … ’ for about twenty-five thousand Ahadith, which composes about one-third of the entire Hadith treasury. They could have said, ‘Narrated Binte Abu Bakr RA … ’. Or they could have said, ‘Narrated Zoja’e Muhammed Pbuh … ’. But no! It is simple and straightforward ‘Narrated Ayesha RA … ’. Some may say, that is because of her status as Mother of the Believers. Well, if Mothers of the Believers are absolved of veiling their names, why were they not absolved of veiling their persons? [33:53,55,59]
I even defy the ideology that today a woman is pronounced as Mrs. So-and-So, that is, by her husband’s name, as an honor. Yes, in some cases, it is a great honor to be identified in relation to somebody. For example, she is his mother, she is his wife, she is his sister, she is his daughter. But excuse me! Every man is not that great, that to be associated to him and to be introduced in his name should be a glorifying honor. In some cases, it could be a disgrace. And in most cases, the case is neutral. It is just a matter of recognition by the husband’s name. Why? Does not a woman have her own face and person? Why should she be recognized by her husband’s name? On second thoughts, the honor of being related to somebody honorable could be with respect to a female too! Just a few seconds and I shall give proof.
During the Prophetic times, all Muslim women were seconded by their father’s names, not husband’s names. Ever! It is a non-Muslim tradition to change and take on the husband’s name after marriage. Ain’t that good news for all feminists? Yes, the Muslim culture has the tradition of taking on titles, called kunyah, and becoming renown by it. For example, Umme Salmah, Umme Aiman, Umme Kulsoom, and so on. But then the Muslim men also used to take on kunyahs. For example, Abu Bakr, Abu Musa, Abu Darda and the greatest example is that of the Prophet Muhammed Pbuh himself, having the kunyah, Abu Qasim. In case of women, some say, it is to veil the woman’s personal name. Well then, what is it for in case of men?
The mainstream school-of-thought followed in Pakistan is the classical Deoband. Among the four Imams of the Islam, the Deoband of Pakistan follow Imam Abu Hanifa. Hanifa? Do you know who Hanifa is? Hanifa was the very intelligent daughter of Imam Abu Hanifa. One fine day, she smartly answered an intellectual question posed by her father. Hanifa answered straight, winning the heart of her father and winning the honor of becoming the kunyah of her scholarly father, whose real name was Noman bin Thabit. Hence, the kunyah, Abu Hanifah. Did Imam Abu Hanifah not know that he was disrespecting his daughter by posting her name publically as his kunyah, repeated by countless men, centuries after centuries? Poof! Proof!
Ah! But the Woman is like a diamond and must be shielded and protected and prized. I agree with you on that Junaid Bhai. For it is the description of women of Jannah in the Holy Quran. There is no doubt women are precious like diamonds, for Allah’s best creation is the Human and the Woman is the finer of the two genders. Allah Almighty chose women to give birth to Humans and once again chose women to nurture and raise the Humans, the best of His Creation. What an honor! However, the crash point of this diamond-theory concept comes when the religious folks label the women as diamonds when they want to justify keeping her under covers and locked up as their personal slave. A Muslim man forgets that his wife is a diamond when he humiliates her in front of the family to please a few among the family. The Muslim man forgets that his wife is a diamond when he slaps her and bruises her and drags her on the floor in the face of an argument. The Muslim man forgets that his wife is a diamond and he must let her shine and shimmer with all her talents and aspirations of life. But no, she is used and abused to fulfil the life vision of the Man only. What she wants from life does not matter.
I
am not saying that the non-religious folks do not do this. They do it too, but
they do not appear as hypocrites because neither do they claim to honor her nor
do they honor her, except a few. But the religious folks claim to honor her and
do just the opposite in the general sphere of behavior. They malign not just
themselves but the religion they host, by claiming that the woman is like a
diamond but keeping her like a lump of coal.
There is no doubt that Islam came as a savior to Woman. I happen to be a ‘practicing’ Muslim and am absolutely thrilled by the perks and fringe benefits I get because of being a Woman. But just like Islam came to erase a heap of ignorant practices like Shirk, Bidah, Social Evils and so on, yet we indulge in them most of the time, similarly, as a nation we boast respect of Woman by Islam but we violate it most of the time. I have seen religious folks speaking on and off TV about respect of woman in Islam. The longer they stretch the word ‘lot of respect’ for Woman in Islam, the greater I suspect them for not really respecting Woman. I suspect so, because I live in the real world, not on TV, and I see what goes on in reality in Muslim homes, in majority. While once upon a time I saw a bearded man with his wife and children at Hush Puppies, the shoe shop. No, no, you are wrong and sorry to disappoint you, but the bearded man was not beating his wife at the shoe shop with a lot of shoes. Let me paint the picture a bit clearer. The Muslim man had a long beard, an Amamah on his head and he was also wearing a long Juba. His wife was covered head to toe in black. They had a handful of children. Now, the wife was sitting on the shop couch like royalty. The husband was holding the baby and also going round the shop and bringing his wife different variety of shoes. The wife was saying yes and no to various shoe pairs. After she had selected a couple of pairs, her husband affectionately touched her at the head and asked her if she wanted anything else. I was watching this entire scene, shocked and rooted to the ground. I had never seen a Muslim man behave so kindly, so honorably and so adoringly to his wife. And that too in public! Most men do not even enter the shop. And if they do, they sit wide in their typical arrogant, macho posture. A rare species of men hold the baby in public and the public uses very bad words for men who walk around holding babies while the Woman shops. While it is absolutely right and logical for the Man to hold the baby especially outside the house, because by your claim, I am a diamond and hence should be covered. When I hold the baby, the baby fists my niqaab, pulls at my chaddar and spoils my Hijab. Yes, I actually observe the complete Hijab, the three-piece set of the abaya, the chaddar and the niqaab. So I am not speaking upon the diamond-theory because I do not believe in Hijab. I wholly believe in it but I despise the hypocrisy attached to it in practice. I am diamond when you want to justify covering me and keeping me locked up. Otherwise, I am a dusting cloth. Hah!
So when I go out, I never hold the baby when my husband is with me. My husband holds the baby, to honor my Hijab and to offload me from heavy load work. Heavy load work is the man’s job, to honor his muscles. Wink! Thank you very much and Jazak Allah.
You know what, sometimes I think it is not really their fault. Perhaps they do not understand the meaning of the word ‘respect’. They say, we respect Woman, and yet they do not … Oh my God! I get it. They respect the Woman just like they respect the Quran. We as a society, become an angry mob if somebody ‘disrespects’ the Quran. And what do we do with the Quran ourselves? We kiss it and close it and keep it on the highest possible shelf of the house. It lies there forgotten. It becomes dusty. It remains alone and lonely, through the happy moments of the home folks. The man also has a relationship with the woman. That is the only time the Woman gets the Man’s full attention. Otherwise, the Man is busy. He has his job, his friends and his family. And the Woman is bundled away, forgotten, amidst cooking, cleaning, laundry and in general being the base camp of the Man’s whims of life. She is multipurpose. She can also be used as a punching bag when the man is stressed out. As the Quran is read in rainy days only.
Junaid Bhai, thank you for considering us diamonds, so please let us continue to shine and not throw dust on us. I missed commenting when you commented on Mother Ayesha RA. Even at that time, your point was that women, no matter who they are, are never satisfied with who you are, how well you treat them and what you give them. Junaid Bhai … that is human nature, not the ‘women’s’ nature. Since women happen to be humans as well, that is why they share this trait with men. And those humans who possess this trait, exhibit it. It is my common experience in religious circles, except a few, that they continuously speak of the women’s ‘respect’ and continuously disrespect women in further discussion. They basically and involuntarily speak what their hearts believe and not what Islam believes. I particularly find this trait of Dawah in the sub-continent. The subcontinent men, except a few, have not to this day, gotten out of their superiority complex of the pre-Islamic gender caste system. Junaid Bhai, I expect you to recognize this streak and overcome it as you have overcome other obstacles of your new, enlightened life.
