Toy Nukes

The year was 1998. A man was sitting in a restaurant in a city in Saudi Arabia. A bunch of people was crowded around the public television in that restaurant’s lounge. The crowd was watching the television and excitedly talking to each other. The crowd also kept pointing at the man sitting at the restaurant table. Soon, the crowd could no longer hold its excitement and swarmed around the sitting man. The man himself was absolutely clueless as to the reason of him being a near celebrity.

One amongst the crowd spoke out, ‘You are a Pakistani, right?’

‘Yes,’ said the sitting man, baffled, as to why him being a Pakistani would earn him any respect, even in Saudi Arabia. Yet, the crowd burst into a wave of applaud and handshaking with the Pakistani guy.

‘Well done, well done!’ cried the innocent crowd to the Pakistani guy, ‘we are a nuclear power now, and it is Pakistan who has done it!’

This was not just the feeling of this particular bunch of people but the grateful and hopeful feelings across the Muslim world. They thought that finally someone from amongst themselves had made a great achievement and advancement of becoming a nuclear power and this someone will now protect them all from the world political mafia. This was especially the aspirations of the enslaved Muslim states, the foremost amongst them being Palestine.  

“Let not the unbelievers think that they have won the game; surely they can never frustrate the believers. Muster against them all the military strength and cavalry that you can afford so that you may strike terror into the hearts of the enemy of Allah and yourself, and others besides them who are unknown to you but known to Allah. Remember that whatever you will spend in the cause of Allah, shall be paid back to you in full and you shall not be treated unjustly.” [The Holy Quran, (8) Surah Anfal, Verse 59, 60]

“O believers! Be patient, excel in patience during confrontation, hold yourselves ready for battle and have fear of Allah so that you may succeed.” [The Holy Quran, (3) Surah Al-Imran, Verse 200]

This is the prime purpose of acquiring weapon and military expertise in Islam; to form such a formidable defence and offence line that no one dares to attack you or create mischief in the land and thus hence peace is achieved.

Pakistan became a nuclear power working from within its meager resources, thanks to Allah Almighty. It could have multiplied its military strength manifold with economic cooperation and support from the oil-rich Arab states. In return or in brotherhood, Pakistan should have extended its military expertise to the entire Muslim nation, and not just a part of it, called Pakistan.

Alas! Nothing of the sort happened. In the end, it all boiled down to ‘coulds’ and ‘shoulds’.

We claimed, in 1998, after making the nuclear blasts that, ‘Pakistan has now become unbeatable…!’

Like the Battle of Hunain of fourteen hundred years ago, boasting and pride upon material strength came to a fall. Allah Almighty Himself excruciates the Muslims to acquire material and military strength, yet does not teach them to rely upon it, but to recognize at all times that the real source of victory, in fact, is Allah Almighty Himself!

Consequently, our declaration of being unbeatable in 1998 came to a shameful fall only three years later, when Musharraf went down on his knees in front of a bully phone call that came from America in 2001.

Crashing down came the dreams of the Muslims worldwide! Had any Palestinian hoped for Pakistan to come forward for its defence against Israel? Had any Kashmiri hoped for Pakistan to come forward for its defence against India? Had any Iraqi hoped for Pakistan to come forward for its defence against America? Had any Afghani…

I cannot write anymore. For my fingers feel ashamed of what it is writing. How could any Afghani hope for Pakistan to come forward for its defence against America? We, the Pakistanis, have our very own selves, given logistic and military support to America to wage war against Afghanistan!

Gone are the golden times when Pak Army lead the Afghan Jihad. Gone are the golden times when the Pak Navy smuggled small arms into Bosnia. Gone are the golden times when Pak Airforce secretly flew fighter-jets against the Israelis in 1967. Our leadership, both civil and military, have as if, totally lost the sense and essence of being a Muslim.

Today, we are mindlessly celebrating Operation Zarb-e-Azb, a totally useless misadventure. I agree that angry Muslim activists from all over the world should not vent out their anger upon the Pakistani leadership by plotting reactionary attacks within Pakistan. It will only weaken the nation further. However, how many years does our leadership need to realize that our participation in the war-of-terror was the triggering point, a fatal mistake and a grotesque sin?

‘He who picks up weapon against us (Muslims) is not from amongst us (any more)’ [Hadith of Bukhari, Muslim]

Or has it become an ego problem now? We will not admit our mistake because how can we admit our mistake?

Pakistan can literally pop out of its terrorism problem if it announces its disassociation with America’s war-of-terror today. There would be no need of Operation Zarb-e-Azb. There would be no need of putting our soldiers’ lives in danger. There would be no need of incurring Divine Wrath by killing Mujahideen. There would be no need of spending millions on internal security. There would be no need of blocking almost every T-junction of Islamabad.

As for the nuclear weapons which Pakistan was so proud of, I am quite sure now that they were actually toy weapons. They are not real. So let the whole world relax. Yes, there is no danger of nuclear weapons getting into the wrong hands via Pakistan at all. For Pakistan does not have any real nuclear weapons. I assure you, they are only toy weapons. The Chaghi blast has simply fireworks for us Pakistani children. No nuclear heat behind it. Surely.

So let us display our toy nukes for the whole world to clap and whistle upon. Let us invite Arabs to put our toy nukes on the tip of their swords and dance with them. They are good at it. In fact, that is all that they are good at. Have no fear. Even if they lose the balance and drop a nuke, it will not blast, for it is only a toy nuke.

We Muslims, because of our miserably weak character, have become a joke in the world today. So let us accept it and try to be of some productivity in that sphere. Let us wear a red and yellow polka dotted outfit and juggle our toy nukes up in the air. Let the whole world clap and cheer and laugh at us.

Can you hear it? They are clapping, cheering and whistling at our mutilated men, raped women and dead children already. Let us juggle our toy nukes for them as well. Let us ‘do more’ for them.

“And for what reason do you not fight in the cause of Allah, to rescue the helpless oppressed old men, women, and children who are crying: ‘Our Rabb! Deliver us from this town whose people are oppressors. Send us a protector by Your Grace and send us a helper from Your Presence?’” [The Holy Quran, (4) Surah An-Nisaa, Verse 75]